I can’t believe I’m about to share this but boy has God been speaking to me today!
What I’m about to share is something that God put on my heart to write about a week and a half ago. I felt him telling me that I would need to share this on the day that Art and I leave for the Master Gardener’s conference. (Which is today)
As you can see, I wrote what he was putting on my heart on the evening of September 27th at 10:48 pm.
I don’t really know where he is going with this. But what I do know is that he has been speaking to us subtly over the past 2 years. And when he told me to write this, I felt him telling me that all the striving we’ve been doing was about to pay off. I felt the spirit telling me that I’m supposed to be vulnerable and share my soul and only then will we see great growth.
So after I wrote what was on my heart on the night of September 27th, I closed the note and went to sleep and never really thought about it again. Until today.
This morning God woke me up at 3 am. So I went to my kitchen table where I had my Bible and devotional and journal laid out. I opened my journal to flip to the 1st blank page. And where my hands ended up, was an entry I wrote back in January. I read a couple of lines at the bottom and thought how cool that was because I had totally forgotten about writing that until I read it again this morning. But no big deal, I continued on with my journal entry for today.
Fast forward a few hours later and I had seen that Think Media (a channel we follow to learn more about growing OUR YouTube Channel) had done a livestream last night for Christian Content Creators. So I turned that on and had been listening to it while I was getting myself ready so we can leave for the conference. Only God could have known that he was going to use Jessica Sowards and Sean Cannell to speak to me today. I don’t even know if THEY know of each other. And they certainly don’t know of ME! But God knows all of us and I know he is preparing big things!!
So here is what happened:
I’m in the bathroom putting on my makeup, listening to Sean Cannell with Think Media. Listen to this one minute clip:
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxvxRTopumve0Ytvur0Ed2y4SzX9six0DL?si=Jnfi4YIAtS6T-MWU
When I heard him say “What’s in Your Hand?” I kind of freaked out with excitement. I ran to show Art.
To understand, you have to see the entry I came across in my journal this morning.
I immediately felt God reminding me that today is the day I’m supposed to share what he was putting on my heart on September 27th. I couldn’t even remember exactly WHAT I wrote that night. I pulled the note up and let Art read it. And I re-read it myself.
Here is the full note, copied straight from my phone:
September 27, 2023 – 10:48 pm
I’m about to be really vulnerable and share some things with you guys. I don’t know why I’m going to share this right now but I feel the Lord put it on my heart to share. So if this resonates with someone else, then I guess it was meant for you!
So I’m going to let you in on a secret about myself. I tend to ALWAYS bite off more than I can chew. But I’m determined. And I will push myself as far as my body will allow. Which means I usually go, go, go until I drop. And by drop, I mean with Illness. So I’ve always said, God tries to give me little warning signs that it’s time to rest. Or it’s time to stop and take care of myself. It usually starts with me getting sick and never really fully recovering because I don’t give myself enough time.
I’ve gotten a lot better over the years, as I’ve battled chronic illness and chronic pain for the past 15 or so years. I now pick up on those cues to rest or take care of myself, much better than I used to. Before, I would just keep plowing through until I basically just fell apart. In 2009 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It’s been something I battle EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Ever since then.
But it is a lot better now. A whole lot better. But I still wake up in pain every morning. And I go to bed in pain every night. But it’s not as bad as it used to be.
However, I do tend to push myself hard. A lot. And some days are worse than others. I can definitely tell a difference when I’ve been eating grains and gluten or sweets. My Fibro flares up like a wild fire. So I’ve learned to stop and remind myself how much pain I’m going to be in if I continue to eat that way. I don’t always listen to myself. But I always pay for it when I don’t.
I’m getting way off track here. Going back to biting off more than I can chew…I want to tell you how I started this year. But first I need to tell you that Art and I had felt called to start our YouTube channel and blog almost 2 years ago. I know that seems like a funny mission for God to put us on. But we both separately felt this prompting and leading and when we first met each other back in October 2021, we each began to share with one another what God had put on our hearts…and we quickly realized we had both been on parallel journeys to the same destination.
And over these past 2 years, it was as if everything we did, God kept giving us reminders about that channel we were supposed to start. But we were SOOOO busy, we just kept putting it off. But we were constantly saying “when we start our channel we can….” Or “someday we’ll record a video about that…” or “one of these days we’ll get that channel started…” or “I’m going to save this project for when we can do a video about it…”
But guess what? That time never came. We just kept talking and dreaming about it. The truth was, we really had no idea how to start a YouTube channel. And we certainly didn’t feel comfortable on camera. (I think Art was a little more comfortable than me)
We had a little bit of equipment. But no editing skills. So that’s why we kept postponing. But everywhere we turned there were reminders directed at us constantly. So many confirmations that God was giving us, so that we knew this truly was from him. We would get a random text that lined up with what only the 2 of us (and Jesus) knew (we are subscribed to things like daily hope and other Christian programs that sometimes send texts). There were times the church sermon spoke so clearly about what we knew the Good Lord had planned for us. And our daily devotionals were constantly reminding us…
And then one day it finally happened. I think it was the beginning of July. I saw an online course that promised to help us get our first 1,000 subscribers in 7 days. And it was free. I sent it to Art to see what he thought. We both agreed we should do it. Maybe this would be what we needed to finally get that channel going. So I signed us up. The course was going to start that following Monday. It was live on YouTube during the day but since we both have full time jobs, we were just going to watch the replays each night. So that Sunday at church, we could both feel the Holy Spirit so vividly, from the moment we walked in.
We were both very emotional during worship and then during the sermon, there were so many things our pastor said that spoke straight to us. I wish this sermon was online so I could share it with others but it was during the “At The Movie’s” series and they can’t put those online since they show a movie during the sermon.
The one thing that I remember clear as day though was when Pastor Craig was saying something about things you’ve been putting off that you know God has called you to, or something like that. He mentioned multiple things that applied to us or our immediate family. But the one that really stopped our hearts was when he said “Maybe you just need to watch a YouTube video.” We both quickly looked at each other in disbelief. I know that doesn’t seem big on its own, but if you had heard the rest of the sermon, you would know what I mean.
I’m getting ahead of myself again. I wanted to start with the beginning of this year.
I had always wanted to be a Master Gardener, ever since I first heard the term. Last year I discovered they actually offer the 4 month program in the next town over from me. So I contacted the extension office to find out the details. At the time, we were really slow at our family’s roofing business (my day job). Classes were every Thursday for 14 weeks. They began the 1st week in January and would end with us taking our final exam in April. So I propositioned my dad. I asked if I could cut my work week back to a 4 day work week and cut my pay for those 4 months, in order to take the classes. He agreed!
So that’s how my year started. A cut in my pay, but I was able to pursue a dream I had of becoming a master gardener. And I succeeded. It was difficult to keep up with the classes and the homework while also keeping up at work because in February, I got very sick and it lasted about 6 weeks. I went through 2 rounds of antibiotics and some steroid shots before I finally got better. (This goes back to how God always gives me down time when I’m pushing myself too hard)
Right about the time I had finally recovered and was feeling better, it was time for our final exam and I was NOT prepared! Then on March 31st, a huge storm hit our area and basically the entire state of Oklahoma called our office over the next couple of weeks. The week of our final was a very stressful week because it was insanely busy at work and I didn’t feel prepared for the test. But I studied hard. Art came out and cooked me a wonderful dinner the night before and helped with everything around the house so I could focus on the test.
I did just fine. I passed the test and officially became a master gardener in April. But you have to also complete 50 volunteer hours each year to become certified. So I’m still working on my volunteer hours for this year. I need 30 more hours to become certified.
After all that excitement, let me tell you what has happened in just the past few months. I won’t go in to detail but between all 4 of my boys here is what has happened. We moved one out of his dorm for the semester. Another one came home to visit for a month. One was gone to California for the summer. One had a mental health crisis. One came home from California with Mono and then we immediately had to move him BACK to college (2 hrs away) but this time in to a house. At the same time my oldest came back home from North Carolina with his son (my 3 year old grandson) and I got to have them here with me for the entire month of August!!! During that time my youngest also started his Senior year of high school.
And remember, this is all happening at the SAME time we’ve just started this YouTube channel and we’re trying to keep up the momentum and continue posting consistently. But we’re also still learning this whole YouTube thing so I spend every evening watching videos to educate myself on YouTube.
But that’s not all. I am such a glutton for punishment, after one son left for college and the oldest left with my grandson, I decided I want to learn everything I can to become a landscape DESIGNER. I started taking free courses I found online. Then I learned about some classes happening at our local technology center, so I signed up for those too.
So that’s what I’ve been doing over the past month. While also working full time AND trying to get our website the way I want AND trying to get this YouTube Channel going. Aaaand I still have a rather large garden of my own to maintain. It’s been just a bit neglected lately. Thank goodness for Art though! He is like having the clone of myself that I always wished for when I was raising my 4 boys by myself.
Next week is our final class for this landscape design course. My project for the class has actually been my parents house. They built a new house this year and they’ve hired me to do the landscaping. They will be out of town this weekend so Art and I will be going over to get everything done so we can do a big reveal on Sunday.
Next week we get to go away for a couple of days to the annual conference for the Oklahoma Master Gardener’s Association. We are both very much looking forward to the speakers and the networking with other Master Gardener’s and honestly, just some downtime together (which we haven’t had all year).
Tonight as I was wrapping up my evening, I started thinking about how much my body hurts right now. (I’ve been planting trees at my parents house the past 2 nights) I started thinking about how insanely busy this year has been and it occurred to me that next year is bound to be so much easier.
At least in the hustle and bustle of every day life, we won’t be trying to start a YouTube channel. It will already be up-to-date by then. Right now we actually have 2 years of content we’re trying to work on and get uploaded for you guys. And I won’t have to take these courses again. I’ll still need to do volunteer hours each year but that’s going to be so much easier once the roofing business slows down again.
I am so thankful and grateful for everything we’ve accomplished this year.
Back to present day – October 5, 2023
I have no idea why it was so important that I share those very, very vulnerable parts of my life. Only God knows what he has planned. But I do believe it’s going to speak to someone out there. Maybe not today. Maybe not next year. Just like Jessica Sowards had no idea I thanked God for her in my journal way back in January and he would use her words to speak to me today.
I do believe God has something BIG in store. Oh and remember the part in my Sept 27th entry where I mentioned starting a course to grow on YouTube. It was a course provided by none other than Sean Cannell and the Think Media team. Are you getting goose bumps yet? Also, I had not thought of this in SUCH a long time but I was watching Roots and Refuge back in 2020 during the pandemic. I remember Jess mentioning that she started her channel as a way to connect with other gardeners and create a community of friends that had a shared passion. I remember that was the day I had thought to myself that I wanted to start a YouTube channel for the exact same reason. I knew I was talking everyone’s ear off about my garden and my real life peeps were tired of hearing about it. So I thought if I start sharing my garden adventures on YouTube, then I wouldn’t have to bore my family to tears as I talked about my garden all the time.
I had completely forgotten that Jessica WAS my inspiration for starting my channel. And now Sean has been the one motivating and inspiring us behind the scenes. How ironic that unbeknownst to them, the two of them would inspire this post. But actually, it isn’t irony at all. That’s just GOD. Our wonderful, amazing, loving God who is up to something GOOD!
By the way, that sermon I talked about in my note. I actually recorded a video as soon as we got in the car that day. I didn’t want to miss that moment. I knew God was planning to use it. How cool that it all came together in this way. I am blown away!
July 30th – 12:33 pm
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